expecting...

expecting is a word that can mean many things...
*hoping
*looking forward to
*to wait
*to suppose

well, how about another Hemphill is on the way...were you expecting that???

Patterned responses

Excerpt from "The Search for Freedom" by Robert S. McGee:

"These patterns develop at a time when we are in poor condition to make good choices. To help you grasp this, let me use as an example something that happened a few months ago when I had my appendix removed. While in the hospital, my attention was riveted to one of two things: either the pain I felt or the relief that the morphine brought. Many of my friends called or visited during the hours following my surgery, or at least they told me they did. I don't remember some of them.

Let's suppose a person called several days after my surgery to inform me that he had visited shortly after my operation and that I had signed all types of business agreements. Some of these arrangements, as it turns out, were extremely detrimental to me. As you might expect, I would not accept the legality of any documents I signed or verbal agreements I made. I would have such decisions set aside on the basis that my reasoning was extremely impaired. Both my visitor and I would clearly know this to be true.

Yet there was a time in my life when my judgment was even more impaired than during my recent post-surgery haze. It was during the first several years of my life. My thought processes were essentially dictated by those around me. Other people taught me what they believed to be truth (or, at least, what they wanted me to think truth was). Eventually, these truths became absolute convictions--about myself, the people around me, and the world in general. These basic convictions then became patterns of responding to myself and to other people. I can tell what I really believe by how I respond to life, not what I say I believe."

My Fam Pic

latest pic from Christmas 08 of my family... (left to right)
Brett, my Dad Carl, Ty, My Mom Shelbie, Me, and Rich

this pic was taken in front of my parents' home in Zephyrhills, FL. they live in a retirement community...referred to on their neighborhood sign as "an elegant retirement community". our favorite part about visiting is the community pool where we can all swim. we just have to make sure we go after the morning exercise group and not during "adult only" time. the rules of retirement living!!!

hard to believe how we are all getting older. i am the youngest of 4 boys. i hope you also notice from the pic that Ty is wearing the best shirt ever...ROLL TIDE!!!

Pastors are too damn busy

Eugene Peterson quoted from Leadership magazine.
In this interview, Peterson is talking about listening reflectively to scripture. He is specifically talking about pastors and the need to learn the art of spiritual reading.

"It takes practice. Pastors have to practice it first; they must enter into it. And in order to do that, pastors simply have to quit being in such a damn big hurry. Pastors are the busiest people in the world--always making an appointment or rushing to a meeting. They have no time to listen.
I think pastors are the worst listeners. We're so used to speaking, teaching, giving answers. We must learn to be quiet, quit being so verbal, learn to pay attention to what's going on, and listen.
It's not only about listening to the Bible, it's about listening to people--taking time to hear the nuances in their voices and language, and repeat what we're hearing. We're all very poorly educated in this business."

Some reading this blog are more distburbed by the word "damn" in the blog title and quote than the fact that pastors are dying by the day. Eugene Peterson is a sage in my life and has taught me more about pastoring than most. I had the privilege of growing up with a pastor/father. My dad pastored small Baptist churches for over 35 years. I watched him shepherd some of the most difficult people. I watched him visit hospitals, hold hands with the dying, and walk with peoople through their stuff. My dad is not a megachurch pastor...never got the salary or notoriety. But he pastored well. And he still is to this day.

I was once in that trap that Peterson referred to. Spent several years climbing the ladder and filling my day with busyness. I almost lost my family over it. It is a part of my addiction and recovery...the intoxication of pastoring and people-approval. So, yes, I'm recovering from this. I still take a hit of this drug every now and then. But I am choosing a new road now. The pastoring I am doing is much more unseen. It is much less noticed...atleast in human eyes. But I actually feel like I'm working with God instead of for God. Everything is not riding on me. And I actually slow down enough to enjoy my wife, my sons, my friends, and my community. Some days I feel guilty for "enjoying" ministry. I was never taught that in church.

So, here I am...34 years old. A ragamuffin being redeemed. A vagabond minister living full-time on support and barely paying my bills. Attending a megachurch that once paid my salary. Now I am a church member...that is something new to me. Still striving at times and struggling with who I am. But, at the same time, more content than ever to be who I am. Pastoring is not an occupation or career for me. It is the way I try to live and walk with people. It is much more the overflow of daily walking with God and people. I have more questions than answers. I have more doubts/fears than faith to match it. But I am proudly a prodigal-come-home who has now been privileged to shepherd God's people. Thanks Father for prophets/sages like Eugene Peterson who remind me to slow down and not be in such a damn big hurry!!!