Love/Hate

I have a love/hate relationship with this word/process called brokenness. I love the result of it...I hate experiencing it. I have been reading and rereading an article in Leadership journal about Phil Vischer. He was the founder of Big Idea Productions--producers of Veggie Tales (aka Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber). They sold millions of children's videos and became a huge success...atleast in "business" terms. All the while, Phil says that he lost his heart. He woke up one day and realized that the fruit of the Spirit was not evident in his life. He was disconnected from life in the Spirit. Then he hit the wall of brokenness. His mega-business exploded in a bankrupty battle. Big Idea Productions was sold and Phil was left to pick up the pieces.

The article goes on to tell, through Q&A, how Phil recovered his heart and calling. He realized that goal-setting and successful business practices were empty aside from a deep pursuit of God and grace. I was so struck by the article...i think I read it 4-5 times. It is just a one-page interview nestled among multi-page articles in this journal.

So, what's the the big idea? Brokenness is to be celebrated as God's pathway to healing and wholeness. I hate that Phil lost so much. I hate that Bob and Larry were sold into corporate life. I hate that Phil hit bottom, felt so alone, and had to face the real shadows in his life. I hate that the pain had to run so deep. But I love the man I read about. So authentic, so real, so genuine, so at peace. This "new creation" I read about brought me relief and gratitude.

I realize I am talking about Phil as if I am his personal friend and confidant. I don't know Phil...never met him. But, in essence, I meet Phil every day. Wherever there are men, there is Phil. Some man who is taking his question to false lovers...work, success, women, addiction. And I find Phil in my own life. Trying to succeed...make a name for myself...be noticed...achieve. Yet, I am reminded today of the importance of this love/hate relationship with brokenness. To be the man God wants me to be, I must be broken. To be the father I need to be, I must be broken. To be the husband I need to be, I must be broken. Courageous humility is birthed out of deep brokenness. What the world needs most are more men who are courageously humble and humbly courageous.